Ah, motherhood!

I've been reading over my blog as a whole and I see that in some place I've gotten away from my 'saga' of being a black stay at home mom. So, since the little ones are currently coloring and fighting over crayons (what else is new), I can steer the blog back to the stated direction.

A few working moms have asked me "How do you do it? I would go crazy at home with just the kids." "What do you do with them all day?"

Well, after being strictly at home for the past three years (four in September) I've finally got an answer for those people.

I want to start by saying that in no way do I condemn, judge or even point a finger at those moms who don't stay home. Some moms want to, and can't. Some moms can and don't want to. It's everyone's individual choice and to be strictly honest, I don't care what you do. For those who may (or may not with my track record) comment on the blog about how self-righteous I am or whatever, save your upload bandwidth, because I don't care. Yeah, I 'm being REAL Dick Cheney-ish today. (On a side note, you gotta love the dude for being totally direct and honest, right?)

Ok, here's my secret to being a housewife, homemaker, a Yale-educated black chick who chooses to stay at home. I do it because I CAN, I HAVE to and I LIKE it.

I can: We live frugally enough that I can stay home with my children. My oldest is in a preschool program, so don't get the idea that I'm huddled up with a shotgun, canning peaches and homeschooling by candlelight. (Even though something about that IS appealing!).

I have to: Ever read the paper/listen to the radio. I am a worry wart by nature, but these stories about children getting killed by other children in day care (home-based), babysitters strapping children in carseats to watch DVDs or television all day, unsanitary conditions, babysitter's boyfriends/girlfriends/relatives/friends, whomever, coming in and knocking children around, children being locked in daycare...I could go on and on. And certianly for every organized day care incident, there are parental incidents, where parents are doing the very same things to their own children. Nevertheless, the last time I looked, I wasn't crazy (I checked last week)so my children are safe with me.

Plus, I'm a paranoid person. I don't let my children out of my site in the local Target, so how the heck could I let them out of my site for an entire day while I take care of someone else's children? Nope, as George Bush I says, Not gonna do it.

I LIKE it: Look, they're pretty funny as a whole. I love watching the way they interact with each other and how they "tell each other off" (in a little child way of course.) I've laughed out loud at some of the things they say to each other, especially when they are trying to mock me or DH. Mr. J, at 2 years old, is a hoot when he tells Caleb to "go to you(r) room! :)

"Don't you miss talking to grownups?" Ummmmm, in a word, NO. Hey, I'm not anti-social, but I've worked for 15 years in education, and honestly, I prefered the children to the adults for the most part. Adult conversation is overrated and you all know what I'm talking about.

What do you do with them all day? Well, let's see. I: change diapers, have conversations, look at pictures, make playdough, wield a firm hand, comb hair, pat heads, change diapers, encourage potty use, encourage flushing the toilet encourage washing hands, cook food, serve food, discourage writing on the wall, discourage hitting, discourage tattletelling, admire play dough creations, help find monster trucks, check email, write blog posts, hide out in the bathroom, pick up clothes, watch lovely TV programs like:Miffy (did you know she went to Africa?), Truck Competition (monster truck jam), Curious George, Arthur, Sesame Street, shoo children out of the kitchen,shoo children off the windowsill, read the paper, check email, advision on 3 year old fashion choices....the list goes on.

So I'm real busy. LOL

I do love being at home and being secure in the fact that my children are being cared for by ME. This is not to say that I don't spend a portion of some days hiding out in the bathroom from a droopy-diapered stalker, HOWEVER, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Plus, if I were a working mom, how many hilarious stories would you be able to read?

Children are Irrational

This is just a short blurb because perhaps someone out there with more experience with children can help me answer this question. Princess E, my dear daughter of three years, is a "eat on the runner". That is, she'll sit down to breakfast, or lunch, eat a bit, excuse herself, run around, then expects to come back to the table with everything the same as she left it. She is highly disappointed when I have cleared the table or when someone else, namely her brothers, have eaten her food.

Today, as I was sitting in my office, she comes to me and demands to know where her bagel is. More specifically, she declares, "Somebody took my bagel!" I say, "Where was it?" "On the TABLE! SOMEBODY took it." Of course I know who took it, it was her bagel-stealing older brother, Mr. Mookie. But I don't tell her that - you think I want to start a war? Instead I say, in my most motherly voice, "Well, Princess E,, if you leave food on the table, then someone is going to eat it. If you want to eat it, you should eat it when you are sitting at the table."

What did she say? "Humph." And walked away. I think it would have made more difference if I'd said the bagel fairy took it.

Mr. Mookie out of Control

I realize that I really have to schedule myself in order to write on this blog on a regular basis. I've got a tremendous amount of topics, as you know the life of a stay at home mom is NEVER dull, but haven't had the time to actually sit down and write about them because of these non-ceasing exciting events.

As many of you may know, I also run a bath and body products business. Well, that's been taking off, but somehow, the children just haven't given me enough time to focus on it. Imagine that!

But let me get to the title of my post, as it is so easy for me to go off on a tangent, especially when I'm trying to write as well as oversee the building of a skyscraper in my living room.

The children were enjoying their TV time when I peeked in to see what they were watching. Hmm, Big bird is on, but the hour is not quite right. Basically, Sesame Street starts at the top of the hour, which means Elmo's World begins about twenty to the hour. Elmo was jumping around about twenty five after the hour,so something was up. Turns out, Mr. Mookie ordered a Sesame Street ON DEMAND. This is what he told me he did:

"I pressed 'on demand' (which is a big button on the remote.)....I scrolled (I kid you not) down to Kids (how the heck did he know the word kids)...then PBS then I chose Sesame Street."

Mr. M also knows how to turn the television to his other favorite channel, the Speed Channel.

He's five. FIVE!!! How is this little dude ordering Sprout on Demand????

Christmas is just around the Corner

Dear readers, I don't have anything especially significant to say today, but just wanted to check in with everyone before the gap between posts got too large and I would have to write yet another 'mea culpa' post. Nevertheless, your entertainment in reading this blog comes first and foremost, so I will attempt to give a quick overview of what has been happening in the last three weeks.

I have been working hard on my website and am in the process of filling basket orders for Christmas. Wow! Last year at this time, I had a barely functional website, only one product and was basically giving the stuff away. Now I have more that four products (yes, I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're making the stuff by hand and testing different formulas, that's a lot!! Now I am considering going natural and totally eliminating the dyes from my product. Notice I said considering!!!I really like the look of some of the colored product, which is why I have an all natural and a nearly all natural section to my website. If you're interested, click the banner at the top of the page.

The little ones are doing quite well - no colds, no one is sick - and my oldest is taking well to his swimming lessons. One day he came home and said to me "I hate swimming." Now, swimming is an integral part of the preschool program, so I wasn't having any of that. So I used that good ol' reverse psychology on him - "Oh really. What's the best thing you like about swimming?" And he proceeded to rattle off a list of things he actually liked about swimming, so another diaster thwarted. I wouldn't want to have to pick him up from school early because he didn't like swimming.

You know, talk about a non sequitur, but what the heck is up with Tyra's hair? Is it me or does it look like she just put a mop on her head? That straw look does not look good on her - I hope she goes back the burgundy!!

Well, that's really it for now - pretty uninteresting, I know, but ya know, that's life....that's what all the people say.....you're riding high in April...Shot down in May.

We're going to be getting our Christmas tree soon - this is the first year that my 19 month old will really be aware of what is going on...let's see how long it take for him to rip all the ornaments off the bottom half of the tree.

Ahhhh...Freedom

On Wednesday, I had the distinct pleasure of spending a total of three hours away from everyone in my family - don't get me wrong, I do love DH and my three dear children, however, day in and day out contact can wear a bit thin. I took the time, with the help of a lovely friend who gave me a gift certificate, I visited the Skin Deep Day Spa in New Providence. What a lovely experience! I had a great mini-facial - who knew that someone else washing your face could feel so wonderful!

The ladies who work there are were very nice and the spa atmosphere was simple and calm. I almost fell asleep in the skin treatment room and the pedicure stand chairs were massage enabled. I felt refreshed and rejuvenated when I left and would certainly visit again - I am looking forward to the hot stone massage!

Tough times for black stay at homes?

Where are all the black stay at home moms? I live in central New Jersey, and it seems like there are only white stay at home moms in the area. Not that I have a big problem with the white moms, but anyone reading this knows that there are sometimes a few differences between child-rearing practices between the two races.

I have gone to school with white people since high school, and the honest impression that I get from them is that they are afraid of black people that dont' fit their stereotypes. In addition, it seems that these same folks are surprised that black people also have high standards for their children. I absolutley despsie when white people come up to my children in the store, or other public place and ask them to give them a 'high five'. I smile to myself whenmy children look at them blankly becuase the only thing they know how to do is shake hands. High five, yeah right.

On a recent visit to a playgroup - which was moslty white, just like most of the playgroups in the area, my son, who was 2 at the time, ran to greet another little boy his age. He was stopped by the mom who told my son, "oh you should be so rough." Rough? He never even touched the child! What the heck was that all about?

I have often been the only black mom at events such as story time at the libraries and other event held during the day. The other moms, while some are very nice, some often look at me as if to ask why I am not at work. They are also often surprised that I can actually speak standard English and have a working husband.

Times are tough for black stay at home moms - especially if we want to hang with other black moms with the same vision and mission for our children. What do you think?