Jack and Jill

As a black mom, of course you want your children in Jack and Jill. For those of you who are reading and don't know what Jack and Jill is, then run a Google Search. So when I was invited to join, of course I was thrilled. I attended a few meetings, and was inducted. Everything was fine, I paid my dues and attended the Mother's meetings. My children missed the first 'event' but we made the second event. During this time, the membership was charged with selling tickets to the Gala, which would take place in December. When we were given the ticket, we were told it was very important to sell the tickets or else the membership would have to be "assessed" i.e. charged more money to cover costs. So, I'm thinking, well, if everyone doesn't sell their tickets, I'll probably have to pay about an extra 50 bucks or so, no biggie. Imagine my surprise when I was informed that if we did not sell the tickets, then we were responsible for paying for tickets to the tune of over 400 dollars. WHAT? Right then and there, I was like forget this mess!!! Why is my family paying dues out the ying-yang, only to be asked for an extra $20 dollars at the first meeting, an extra $50 and the second, and three months into the who she-bang, over 400 dollars to pay for some tickets because people didn't buy them?

additionally, I was certainly not thrilled with the type of company my children would be keeping. Many of the children were older than my children were and the children that were the age of my children didn't really "bond" so to speak. Plus, I did not feel the mother's were very friendly at all. On top of that, I had heard rumors that this particular chapter was the most "ghetto" of the ones in this area, and I could see how they acquired that label. On top of all THAT, the membership did not seem committed to paying that money, given the emails that I would receive about mothers not paying dues or paying "extra" money on top of the dues.

While I would have liked for my children to be in Jack and Jill, this was not the "jack and Jill" that I had in mind. I'm kind of ambivalent about the whole thing, but at least the money hemorrhaging will stop!!!

Tough times for black stay at homes?

Where are all the black stay at home moms? I live in central New Jersey, and it seems like there are only white stay at home moms in the area. Not that I have a big problem with the white moms, but anyone reading this knows that there are sometimes a few differences between child-rearing practices between the two races.

I have gone to school with white people since high school, and the honest impression that I get from them is that they are afraid of black people that dont' fit their stereotypes. In addition, it seems that these same folks are surprised that black people also have high standards for their children. I absolutley despsie when white people come up to my children in the store, or other public place and ask them to give them a 'high five'. I smile to myself whenmy children look at them blankly becuase the only thing they know how to do is shake hands. High five, yeah right.

On a recent visit to a playgroup - which was moslty white, just like most of the playgroups in the area, my son, who was 2 at the time, ran to greet another little boy his age. He was stopped by the mom who told my son, "oh you should be so rough." Rough? He never even touched the child! What the heck was that all about?

I have often been the only black mom at events such as story time at the libraries and other event held during the day. The other moms, while some are very nice, some often look at me as if to ask why I am not at work. They are also often surprised that I can actually speak standard English and have a working husband.

Times are tough for black stay at home moms - especially if we want to hang with other black moms with the same vision and mission for our children. What do you think?