Sunday, March 30
We're Moving! See Below for new site.
Loyal readers, we are moving to a new spot with new hosting. The blog will still be located here, but will be updates at www.black-domestic-goddess.com. Please check us out over there.
Friday, March 28
In the Middle with Barack Obama and the duality of black folk
Barack Obama and the dual souls of Black Folk
First of all, the goddess is not “up” on politics, world history or physics. Don’t expect her to enter into a debate about the Iraq War. This is the woman who thought the Hanoi Hilton was a real hotel, ok? I’m not ashamed to admit my ignorance about certain events, but I do know how to change a two prong outlet to a three prong with the grounding wire, so back off my political ignorance!
This is the first time I have taken time out of my very busy day (see preceding posts) to actually think about Barack Obama and the effect his campaign is having on America’s conscience. Let me first say that I did like Mr.Obama, but was truly put off by his wife’s comments about ‘this is the first time I was proud of my country’. Then the comments by the pastor – while some of his comments may have some truth (who can deny the horrible Tuskegee experiments, Scottsboro Nine, Emmet Till, Bull Connor and his dogs, the Little Rock Nine, ugh, must I go on?) let’s just say that while I do believe the CIA did help to incite riots during those tumultuous times, I don’t believe that the ‘white man’ invented AIDS to kill the ‘black man’. Some black folks are killing themselves w/out the help of the white man….and many of the medical personnel involved in the Tuskegee experiments were black. Just as some Jewish people were involved in the holocaust – no one race can be held blameless for the trouble in this world. Shoot, I LOVE America despite its faults – I wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else. (Do you know what the bath tissue is like in European countries – no Scott tissue, no goddess.)
Well, goddess, what’s up with the dual souls of black folk? Tell us!
Dear readers, for those of you who know about W.E.B. DuBois, know exactly what I’m writing about. From Mr. DuBois: One ever feels his two-ness,—an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.
As black people (I can’t stand the term African-American – I am from New Jersey, folks and since my family/married name is Irish-English, whoa, do I have a problem or what!!) we are equal, yet not equal. There is still the old boys club. There are still job interviewers who see us coming and imedialty make their decision before we open our mouths. I went to a nearly all white prep school and Yale College in the 80s and in my experience….well let’s just say some folks of the “other” race are less than enlightened. (and the goddess is being VERY nice.)
This is what I see in Barack Obama. Not only is he bi-racial, he is part of the black upper class. His speeches about unity and understanding and change, I feel are a very personal cry - all of his life he has been plagued, in a very real sense with his duality…the feeling that he had to pick a side. Tell me if that came out more obviously when he referred to his grandmother as a ‘typical white person’. I don’t know about you, but what a thing to say about your blood relative!! (Remember folks, this is my personal opinion). Unfortuantely, that is how it is with many black people who “make it”. Do you go “white” , or do you go so “black” (rev. wright black) or do you hover in the middle?
I remember attending a dinner with my husband who had done some work in education about the Holocaust. We were the only black folk there, and there was this old man (80s) who talked to us. Now, the man was old and I bear absolutely no ill will toward him at all, in fact, my husband and I joke about it now. When he found out that I had graduated from Yale, he thought for a moment and said, ‘you know this may interested you that black women at Princeton….blah blah” Now, was that racist? Or was it an attempt by a man, separated by two generations, interests and race trying to make me as a black woman feel more comfortable? Who knows and you know what, who cares? The man was nice and I did him the favor of talking to him about things that I thought would interest him. Certainly we weren’t bosom buddies at the end of the night, but we did have a civil, if somewhat stilted, conversation.
I hope that I have made my point. It’s been so long since I’ve written something serious for this blog (in between answering requests for juice and Word World) that I certainly hope my words and/or my message is jumbled.
Let me know what you think.
First of all, the goddess is not “up” on politics, world history or physics. Don’t expect her to enter into a debate about the Iraq War. This is the woman who thought the Hanoi Hilton was a real hotel, ok? I’m not ashamed to admit my ignorance about certain events, but I do know how to change a two prong outlet to a three prong with the grounding wire, so back off my political ignorance!
This is the first time I have taken time out of my very busy day (see preceding posts) to actually think about Barack Obama and the effect his campaign is having on America’s conscience. Let me first say that I did like Mr.Obama, but was truly put off by his wife’s comments about ‘this is the first time I was proud of my country’. Then the comments by the pastor – while some of his comments may have some truth (who can deny the horrible Tuskegee experiments, Scottsboro Nine, Emmet Till, Bull Connor and his dogs, the Little Rock Nine, ugh, must I go on?) let’s just say that while I do believe the CIA did help to incite riots during those tumultuous times, I don’t believe that the ‘white man’ invented AIDS to kill the ‘black man’. Some black folks are killing themselves w/out the help of the white man….and many of the medical personnel involved in the Tuskegee experiments were black. Just as some Jewish people were involved in the holocaust – no one race can be held blameless for the trouble in this world. Shoot, I LOVE America despite its faults – I wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else. (Do you know what the bath tissue is like in European countries – no Scott tissue, no goddess.)
Well, goddess, what’s up with the dual souls of black folk? Tell us!
Dear readers, for those of you who know about W.E.B. DuBois, know exactly what I’m writing about. From Mr. DuBois: One ever feels his two-ness,—an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.
As black people (I can’t stand the term African-American – I am from New Jersey, folks and since my family/married name is Irish-English, whoa, do I have a problem or what!!) we are equal, yet not equal. There is still the old boys club. There are still job interviewers who see us coming and imedialty make their decision before we open our mouths. I went to a nearly all white prep school and Yale College in the 80s and in my experience….well let’s just say some folks of the “other” race are less than enlightened. (and the goddess is being VERY nice.)
This is what I see in Barack Obama. Not only is he bi-racial, he is part of the black upper class. His speeches about unity and understanding and change, I feel are a very personal cry - all of his life he has been plagued, in a very real sense with his duality…the feeling that he had to pick a side. Tell me if that came out more obviously when he referred to his grandmother as a ‘typical white person’. I don’t know about you, but what a thing to say about your blood relative!! (Remember folks, this is my personal opinion). Unfortuantely, that is how it is with many black people who “make it”. Do you go “white” , or do you go so “black” (rev. wright black) or do you hover in the middle?
I remember attending a dinner with my husband who had done some work in education about the Holocaust. We were the only black folk there, and there was this old man (80s) who talked to us. Now, the man was old and I bear absolutely no ill will toward him at all, in fact, my husband and I joke about it now. When he found out that I had graduated from Yale, he thought for a moment and said, ‘you know this may interested you that black women at Princeton….blah blah” Now, was that racist? Or was it an attempt by a man, separated by two generations, interests and race trying to make me as a black woman feel more comfortable? Who knows and you know what, who cares? The man was nice and I did him the favor of talking to him about things that I thought would interest him. Certainly we weren’t bosom buddies at the end of the night, but we did have a civil, if somewhat stilted, conversation.
I hope that I have made my point. It’s been so long since I’ve written something serious for this blog (in between answering requests for juice and Word World) that I certainly hope my words and/or my message is jumbled.
Let me know what you think.
Thursday, March 27
Wanted: Blogroll
Dear readers, I know there are those of you who stop by this blog, for hours at a time (no, I don't think you're reading that long, you probably left your broswer open, but hope springs eternal, right?).
The goddess is doing something SO rare that you'd better sit up and pay attention. I need a blogroll. I had a great blogroll, but when I checked the links recently, my precious blogger sisters had either given up the blog or the page was just.....gone. So I need some bloggers.
You don't have to be black, you don't have to be domestic, you don't even have to be a goddess, although that will help your case :).
How do you get on the goddess's blog roll with her measly Google page rank of 2? Well, leave a comment with your link to your blog. Now, don't try to fool the goddess with affliate links and the like - she's wise to those type of shenanagians and tomfoolery. If you like my content and really want to be on my blog roll, please comment.
I can't really delineate exactly what I'll choose, especially since my interests go from soap making to gardening to html to proper portrayal of superheroes in the movies but I'd like a good mix of at least 20 blogs.
So, comment with your link and I'll check ya out!
The goddess is doing something SO rare that you'd better sit up and pay attention. I need a blogroll. I had a great blogroll, but when I checked the links recently, my precious blogger sisters had either given up the blog or the page was just.....gone. So I need some bloggers.
You don't have to be black, you don't have to be domestic, you don't even have to be a goddess, although that will help your case :).
How do you get on the goddess's blog roll with her measly Google page rank of 2? Well, leave a comment with your link to your blog. Now, don't try to fool the goddess with affliate links and the like - she's wise to those type of shenanagians and tomfoolery. If you like my content and really want to be on my blog roll, please comment.
I can't really delineate exactly what I'll choose, especially since my interests go from soap making to gardening to html to proper portrayal of superheroes in the movies but I'd like a good mix of at least 20 blogs.
So, comment with your link and I'll check ya out!
Monday, March 24
Ah, motherhood!
I've been reading over my blog as a whole and I see that in some place I've gotten away from my 'saga' of being a black stay at home mom. So, since the little ones are currently coloring and fighting over crayons (what else is new), I can steer the blog back to the stated direction.
A few working moms have asked me "How do you do it? I would go crazy at home with just the kids." "What do you do with them all day?"
Well, after being strictly at home for the past three years (four in September) I've finally got an answer for those people.
I want to start by saying that in no way do I condemn, judge or even point a finger at those moms who don't stay home. Some moms want to, and can't. Some moms can and don't want to. It's everyone's individual choice and to be strictly honest, I don't care what you do. For those who may (or may not with my track record) comment on the blog about how self-righteous I am or whatever, save your upload bandwidth, because I don't care. Yeah, I 'm being REAL Dick Cheney-ish today. (On a side note, you gotta love the dude for being totally direct and honest, right?)
Ok, here's my secret to being a housewife, homemaker, a Yale-educated black chick who chooses to stay at home. I do it because I CAN, I HAVE to and I LIKE it.
I can: We live frugally enough that I can stay home with my children. My oldest is in a preschool program, so don't get the idea that I'm huddled up with a shotgun, canning peaches and homeschooling by candlelight. (Even though something about that IS appealing!).
I have to: Ever read the paper/listen to the radio. I am a worry wart by nature, but these stories about children getting killed by other children in day care (home-based), babysitters strapping children in carseats to watch DVDs or television all day, unsanitary conditions, babysitter's boyfriends/girlfriends/relatives/friends, whomever, coming in and knocking children around, children being locked in daycare...I could go on and on. And certianly for every organized day care incident, there are parental incidents, where parents are doing the very same things to their own children. Nevertheless, the last time I looked, I wasn't crazy (I checked last week)so my children are safe with me.
Plus, I'm a paranoid person. I don't let my children out of my site in the local Target, so how the heck could I let them out of my site for an entire day while I take care of someone else's children? Nope, as George Bush I says, Not gonna do it.
I LIKE it: Look, they're pretty funny as a whole. I love watching the way they interact with each other and how they "tell each other off" (in a little child way of course.) I've laughed out loud at some of the things they say to each other, especially when they are trying to mock me or DH. Mr. J, at 2 years old, is a hoot when he tells Caleb to "go to you(r) room! :)
"Don't you miss talking to grownups?" Ummmmm, in a word, NO. Hey, I'm not anti-social, but I've worked for 15 years in education, and honestly, I prefered the children to the adults for the most part. Adult conversation is overrated and you all know what I'm talking about.
What do you do with them all day? Well, let's see. I: change diapers, have conversations, look at pictures, make playdough, wield a firm hand, comb hair, pat heads, change diapers, encourage potty use, encourage flushing the toilet encourage washing hands, cook food, serve food, discourage writing on the wall, discourage hitting, discourage tattletelling, admire play dough creations, help find monster trucks, check email, write blog posts, hide out in the bathroom, pick up clothes, watch lovely TV programs like:Miffy (did you know she went to Africa?), Truck Competition (monster truck jam), Curious George, Arthur, Sesame Street, shoo children out of the kitchen,shoo children off the windowsill, read the paper, check email, advision on 3 year old fashion choices....the list goes on.
So I'm real busy. LOL
I do love being at home and being secure in the fact that my children are being cared for by ME. This is not to say that I don't spend a portion of some days hiding out in the bathroom from a droopy-diapered stalker, HOWEVER, I wouldn't change it for the world.
Plus, if I were a working mom, how many hilarious stories would you be able to read?
A few working moms have asked me "How do you do it? I would go crazy at home with just the kids." "What do you do with them all day?"
Well, after being strictly at home for the past three years (four in September) I've finally got an answer for those people.
I want to start by saying that in no way do I condemn, judge or even point a finger at those moms who don't stay home. Some moms want to, and can't. Some moms can and don't want to. It's everyone's individual choice and to be strictly honest, I don't care what you do. For those who may (or may not with my track record) comment on the blog about how self-righteous I am or whatever, save your upload bandwidth, because I don't care. Yeah, I 'm being REAL Dick Cheney-ish today. (On a side note, you gotta love the dude for being totally direct and honest, right?)
Ok, here's my secret to being a housewife, homemaker, a Yale-educated black chick who chooses to stay at home. I do it because I CAN, I HAVE to and I LIKE it.
I can: We live frugally enough that I can stay home with my children. My oldest is in a preschool program, so don't get the idea that I'm huddled up with a shotgun, canning peaches and homeschooling by candlelight. (Even though something about that IS appealing!).
I have to: Ever read the paper/listen to the radio. I am a worry wart by nature, but these stories about children getting killed by other children in day care (home-based), babysitters strapping children in carseats to watch DVDs or television all day, unsanitary conditions, babysitter's boyfriends/girlfriends/relatives/friends, whomever, coming in and knocking children around, children being locked in daycare...I could go on and on. And certianly for every organized day care incident, there are parental incidents, where parents are doing the very same things to their own children. Nevertheless, the last time I looked, I wasn't crazy (I checked last week)so my children are safe with me.
Plus, I'm a paranoid person. I don't let my children out of my site in the local Target, so how the heck could I let them out of my site for an entire day while I take care of someone else's children? Nope, as George Bush I says, Not gonna do it.
I LIKE it: Look, they're pretty funny as a whole. I love watching the way they interact with each other and how they "tell each other off" (in a little child way of course.) I've laughed out loud at some of the things they say to each other, especially when they are trying to mock me or DH. Mr. J, at 2 years old, is a hoot when he tells Caleb to "go to you(r) room! :)
"Don't you miss talking to grownups?" Ummmmm, in a word, NO. Hey, I'm not anti-social, but I've worked for 15 years in education, and honestly, I prefered the children to the adults for the most part. Adult conversation is overrated and you all know what I'm talking about.
What do you do with them all day? Well, let's see. I: change diapers, have conversations, look at pictures, make playdough, wield a firm hand, comb hair, pat heads, change diapers, encourage potty use, encourage flushing the toilet encourage washing hands, cook food, serve food, discourage writing on the wall, discourage hitting, discourage tattletelling, admire play dough creations, help find monster trucks, check email, write blog posts, hide out in the bathroom, pick up clothes, watch lovely TV programs like:Miffy (did you know she went to Africa?), Truck Competition (monster truck jam), Curious George, Arthur, Sesame Street, shoo children out of the kitchen,shoo children off the windowsill, read the paper, check email, advision on 3 year old fashion choices....the list goes on.
So I'm real busy. LOL
I do love being at home and being secure in the fact that my children are being cared for by ME. This is not to say that I don't spend a portion of some days hiding out in the bathroom from a droopy-diapered stalker, HOWEVER, I wouldn't change it for the world.
Plus, if I were a working mom, how many hilarious stories would you be able to read?
Sunday, March 23
Children are Irrational
This is just a short blurb because perhaps someone out there with more experience with children can help me answer this question. Princess E, my dear daughter of three years, is a "eat on the runner". That is, she'll sit down to breakfast, or lunch, eat a bit, excuse herself, run around, then expects to come back to the table with everything the same as she left it. She is highly disappointed when I have cleared the table or when someone else, namely her brothers, have eaten her food.
Today, as I was sitting in my office, she comes to me and demands to know where her bagel is. More specifically, she declares, "Somebody took my bagel!" I say, "Where was it?" "On the TABLE! SOMEBODY took it." Of course I know who took it, it was her bagel-stealing older brother, Mr. Mookie. But I don't tell her that - you think I want to start a war? Instead I say, in my most motherly voice, "Well, Princess E,, if you leave food on the table, then someone is going to eat it. If you want to eat it, you should eat it when you are sitting at the table."
What did she say? "Humph." And walked away. I think it would have made more difference if I'd said the bagel fairy took it.
Today, as I was sitting in my office, she comes to me and demands to know where her bagel is. More specifically, she declares, "Somebody took my bagel!" I say, "Where was it?" "On the TABLE! SOMEBODY took it." Of course I know who took it, it was her bagel-stealing older brother, Mr. Mookie. But I don't tell her that - you think I want to start a war? Instead I say, in my most motherly voice, "Well, Princess E,, if you leave food on the table, then someone is going to eat it. If you want to eat it, you should eat it when you are sitting at the table."
What did she say? "Humph." And walked away. I think it would have made more difference if I'd said the bagel fairy took it.
Thursday, March 20
Woman Stuck to Toilet Seat
I've heard of reading on the toilet, but this is just too much. Apparently this woman really loved her bathroom. I wish I liked my bathroom this much - in fact, a couple pillows in the tub might make it actually liveable for at least a couple of days....but I digress.
Yes, thie womean sat on the toilet for TWO YEARS. Her loving boyfriend bought her food and water and asked her to come out every day. But, just like Princess E says when I ask her when is she going to start wearing her new underwear, she said, "Maybe tomorrow". (Where did the boyfriend go to the bathroom - I'm talking solid waste here, while she was on the toilet? I doubt they had two bathrooms....)
And even more crazy she had her sweatpants "mid thigh", sitting on the toilet, skin grown around the toilet seat. Didn't she have a job? Am I asking too many questions?
Read the original story here: Woman Stuck to Toilet Seat
Apparently the boyfriend will be charged because he allowed her to sit there for so long.
Yes, thie womean sat on the toilet for TWO YEARS. Her loving boyfriend bought her food and water and asked her to come out every day. But, just like Princess E says when I ask her when is she going to start wearing her new underwear, she said, "Maybe tomorrow". (Where did the boyfriend go to the bathroom - I'm talking solid waste here, while she was on the toilet? I doubt they had two bathrooms....)
And even more crazy she had her sweatpants "mid thigh", sitting on the toilet, skin grown around the toilet seat. Didn't she have a job? Am I asking too many questions?
Read the original story here: Woman Stuck to Toilet Seat
Apparently the boyfriend will be charged because he allowed her to sit there for so long.
Monday, March 17
Mr. Mookie out of Control
I realize that I really have to schedule myself in order to write on this blog on a regular basis. I've got a tremendous amount of topics, as you know the life of a stay at home mom is NEVER dull, but haven't had the time to actually sit down and write about them because of these non-ceasing exciting events.
As many of you may know, I also run a bath and body products business. Well, that's been taking off, but somehow, the children just haven't given me enough time to focus on it. Imagine that!
But let me get to the title of my post, as it is so easy for me to go off on a tangent, especially when I'm trying to write as well as oversee the building of a skyscraper in my living room.
The children were enjoying their TV time when I peeked in to see what they were watching. Hmm, Big bird is on, but the hour is not quite right. Basically, Sesame Street starts at the top of the hour, which means Elmo's World begins about twenty to the hour. Elmo was jumping around about twenty five after the hour,so something was up. Turns out, Mr. Mookie ordered a Sesame Street ON DEMAND. This is what he told me he did:
"I pressed 'on demand' (which is a big button on the remote.)....I scrolled (I kid you not) down to Kids (how the heck did he know the word kids)...then PBS then I chose Sesame Street."
Mr. M also knows how to turn the television to his other favorite channel, the Speed Channel.
He's five. FIVE!!! How is this little dude ordering Sprout on Demand????
As many of you may know, I also run a bath and body products business. Well, that's been taking off, but somehow, the children just haven't given me enough time to focus on it. Imagine that!
But let me get to the title of my post, as it is so easy for me to go off on a tangent, especially when I'm trying to write as well as oversee the building of a skyscraper in my living room.
The children were enjoying their TV time when I peeked in to see what they were watching. Hmm, Big bird is on, but the hour is not quite right. Basically, Sesame Street starts at the top of the hour, which means Elmo's World begins about twenty to the hour. Elmo was jumping around about twenty five after the hour,so something was up. Turns out, Mr. Mookie ordered a Sesame Street ON DEMAND. This is what he told me he did:
"I pressed 'on demand' (which is a big button on the remote.)....I scrolled (I kid you not) down to Kids (how the heck did he know the word kids)...then PBS then I chose Sesame Street."
Mr. M also knows how to turn the television to his other favorite channel, the Speed Channel.
He's five. FIVE!!! How is this little dude ordering Sprout on Demand????
Friday, March 7
Mr. Mookie is FIVE
Well, dear readers, the goddess has passed yet another test of moms all over. The birthday cupcakes. Last year, I passed the test of providing SNACKS so this year, while not a breeze, at least I knew what to expect.
Mr. C, is turning five on March 8th. Since he has all these little friends, or "his children" as he calls them, we decided to have a bit of a celebration at school. Of course, Mr. C, aka Mr. Mookie, can't just be provided with store or even bakery bought cupcakes - I mean, as a stay at home mom, how would that look? So, Betty Crocker to the rescue. Say hello to 18 yellow cake, chocolate frosted cupcakes with little sprinked on top. Thank goodness DH took them, along with Mr. Mookie to school - I could just see myself struggling with him, Princess E, and Mr. J, cupcakes, and goody bags. Talk about a diaster wating to happen. Glad I didn't have to risk it.
Of course, I waited eagerly at home for my report. "What did the children say?" (like they were the food critics from Iron Chef, right?" DH complied and said, "they said oooooooooooooooo when they say the cupcakes.?" And for some reason, that completely delighted me. Now I know just as well as the next person that preschoolers when preschoolers meet cupcakes of ANY caliber, there will be an "oooooooooooooooo" elicited. It feels good all the same. Plus, as an added bonus, after Mr. Mookie came home from school and after he talked about the whole little cupcake escapade, he asked, "Who made the cupcakes?" DH told him, "Mommy did." My little first born said, "They were so good. Thank you mommy!" And that was the best accolade of all.
So for all you moms out there who want to make a good impression on those preschoolers in your lives, look to Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines. Throw soem sprinkles on them from Party City and you've got it made!
I can't believe Mr. Mookie is five!!!
Mr. C, is turning five on March 8th. Since he has all these little friends, or "his children" as he calls them, we decided to have a bit of a celebration at school. Of course, Mr. C, aka Mr. Mookie, can't just be provided with store or even bakery bought cupcakes - I mean, as a stay at home mom, how would that look? So, Betty Crocker to the rescue. Say hello to 18 yellow cake, chocolate frosted cupcakes with little sprinked on top. Thank goodness DH took them, along with Mr. Mookie to school - I could just see myself struggling with him, Princess E, and Mr. J, cupcakes, and goody bags. Talk about a diaster wating to happen. Glad I didn't have to risk it.
Of course, I waited eagerly at home for my report. "What did the children say?" (like they were the food critics from Iron Chef, right?" DH complied and said, "they said oooooooooooooooo when they say the cupcakes.?" And for some reason, that completely delighted me. Now I know just as well as the next person that preschoolers when preschoolers meet cupcakes of ANY caliber, there will be an "oooooooooooooooo" elicited. It feels good all the same. Plus, as an added bonus, after Mr. Mookie came home from school and after he talked about the whole little cupcake escapade, he asked, "Who made the cupcakes?" DH told him, "Mommy did." My little first born said, "They were so good. Thank you mommy!" And that was the best accolade of all.
So for all you moms out there who want to make a good impression on those preschoolers in your lives, look to Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines. Throw soem sprinkles on them from Party City and you've got it made!
I can't believe Mr. Mookie is five!!!
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