The Mom Song

I first heard and saw this video at a MOPS meeting, and I loved it. Now, this new version with the "lyrics" really bring home what we say as moms all day!

Enjoy!

The Mom Song- LIVE from Northland Video on Vimeo.

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In the Middle with Barack Obama and the duality of black folk

Barack Obama and the dual souls of Black Folk

First of all, the goddess is not “up” on politics, world history or physics. Don’t expect her to enter into a debate about the Iraq War. This is the woman who thought the Hanoi Hilton was a real hotel, ok? I’m not ashamed to admit my ignorance about certain events, but I do know how to change a two prong outlet to a three prong with the grounding wire, so back off my political ignorance!

This is the first time I have taken time out of my very busy day (see preceding posts) to actually think about Barack Obama and the effect his campaign is having on America’s conscience. Let me first say that I did like Mr.Obama, but was truly put off by his wife’s comments about ‘this is the first time I was proud of my country’. Then the comments by the pastor – while some of his comments may have some truth (who can deny the horrible Tuskegee experiments, Scottsboro Nine, Emmet Till, Bull Connor and his dogs, the Little Rock Nine, ugh, must I go on?) let’s just say that while I do believe the CIA did help to incite riots during those tumultuous times, I don’t believe that the ‘white man’ invented AIDS to kill the ‘black man’. Some black folks are killing themselves w/out the help of the white man….and many of the medical personnel involved in the Tuskegee experiments were black. Just as some Jewish people were involved in the holocaust – no one race can be held blameless for the trouble in this world. Shoot, I LOVE America despite its faults – I wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else. (Do you know what the bath tissue is like in European countries – no Scott tissue, no goddess.)

Well, goddess, what’s up with the dual souls of black folk? Tell us!

Dear readers, for those of you who know about W.E.B. DuBois, know exactly what I’m writing about. From Mr. DuBois: One ever feels his two-ness,—an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.

As black people (I can’t stand the term African-American – I am from New Jersey, folks and since my family/married name is Irish-English, whoa, do I have a problem or what!!) we are equal, yet not equal. There is still the old boys club. There are still job interviewers who see us coming and imedialty make their decision before we open our mouths. I went to a nearly all white prep school and Yale College in the 80s and in my experience….well let’s just say some folks of the “other” race are less than enlightened. (and the goddess is being VERY nice.)

This is what I see in Barack Obama. Not only is he bi-racial, he is part of the black upper class. His speeches about unity and understanding and change, I feel are a very personal cry - all of his life he has been plagued, in a very real sense with his duality…the feeling that he had to pick a side. Tell me if that came out more obviously when he referred to his grandmother as a ‘typical white person’. I don’t know about you, but what a thing to say about your blood relative!! (Remember folks, this is my personal opinion). Unfortuantely, that is how it is with many black people who “make it”. Do you go “white” , or do you go so “black” (rev. wright black) or do you hover in the middle?

I remember attending a dinner with my husband who had done some work in education about the Holocaust. We were the only black folk there, and there was this old man (80s) who talked to us. Now, the man was old and I bear absolutely no ill will toward him at all, in fact, my husband and I joke about it now. When he found out that I had graduated from Yale, he thought for a moment and said, ‘you know this may interested you that black women at Princeton….blah blah” Now, was that racist? Or was it an attempt by a man, separated by two generations, interests and race trying to make me as a black woman feel more comfortable? Who knows and you know what, who cares? The man was nice and I did him the favor of talking to him about things that I thought would interest him. Certainly we weren’t bosom buddies at the end of the night, but we did have a civil, if somewhat stilted, conversation.

I hope that I have made my point. It’s been so long since I’ve written something serious for this blog (in between answering requests for juice and Word World) that I certainly hope my words and/or my message is jumbled.

Let me know what you think.

Wanted: Blogroll

Dear readers, I know there are those of you who stop by this blog, for hours at a time (no, I don't think you're reading that long, you probably left your broswer open, but hope springs eternal, right?).

The goddess is doing something SO rare that you'd better sit up and pay attention. I need a blogroll. I had a great blogroll, but when I checked the links recently, my precious blogger sisters had either given up the blog or the page was just.....gone. So I need some bloggers.

You don't have to be black, you don't have to be domestic, you don't even have to be a goddess, although that will help your case :).

How do you get on the goddess's blog roll with her measly Google page rank of 2? Well, leave a comment with your link to your blog. Now, don't try to fool the goddess with affliate links and the like - she's wise to those type of shenanagians and tomfoolery. If you like my content and really want to be on my blog roll, please comment.

I can't really delineate exactly what I'll choose, especially since my interests go from soap making to gardening to html to proper portrayal of superheroes in the movies but I'd like a good mix of at least 20 blogs.

So, comment with your link and I'll check ya out!

Ah, motherhood!

I've been reading over my blog as a whole and I see that in some place I've gotten away from my 'saga' of being a black stay at home mom. So, since the little ones are currently coloring and fighting over crayons (what else is new), I can steer the blog back to the stated direction.

A few working moms have asked me "How do you do it? I would go crazy at home with just the kids." "What do you do with them all day?"

Well, after being strictly at home for the past three years (four in September) I've finally got an answer for those people.

I want to start by saying that in no way do I condemn, judge or even point a finger at those moms who don't stay home. Some moms want to, and can't. Some moms can and don't want to. It's everyone's individual choice and to be strictly honest, I don't care what you do. For those who may (or may not with my track record) comment on the blog about how self-righteous I am or whatever, save your upload bandwidth, because I don't care. Yeah, I 'm being REAL Dick Cheney-ish today. (On a side note, you gotta love the dude for being totally direct and honest, right?)

Ok, here's my secret to being a housewife, homemaker, a Yale-educated black chick who chooses to stay at home. I do it because I CAN, I HAVE to and I LIKE it.

I can: We live frugally enough that I can stay home with my children. My oldest is in a preschool program, so don't get the idea that I'm huddled up with a shotgun, canning peaches and homeschooling by candlelight. (Even though something about that IS appealing!).

I have to: Ever read the paper/listen to the radio. I am a worry wart by nature, but these stories about children getting killed by other children in day care (home-based), babysitters strapping children in carseats to watch DVDs or television all day, unsanitary conditions, babysitter's boyfriends/girlfriends/relatives/friends, whomever, coming in and knocking children around, children being locked in daycare...I could go on and on. And certianly for every organized day care incident, there are parental incidents, where parents are doing the very same things to their own children. Nevertheless, the last time I looked, I wasn't crazy (I checked last week)so my children are safe with me.

Plus, I'm a paranoid person. I don't let my children out of my site in the local Target, so how the heck could I let them out of my site for an entire day while I take care of someone else's children? Nope, as George Bush I says, Not gonna do it.

I LIKE it: Look, they're pretty funny as a whole. I love watching the way they interact with each other and how they "tell each other off" (in a little child way of course.) I've laughed out loud at some of the things they say to each other, especially when they are trying to mock me or DH. Mr. J, at 2 years old, is a hoot when he tells Caleb to "go to you(r) room! :)

"Don't you miss talking to grownups?" Ummmmm, in a word, NO. Hey, I'm not anti-social, but I've worked for 15 years in education, and honestly, I prefered the children to the adults for the most part. Adult conversation is overrated and you all know what I'm talking about.

What do you do with them all day? Well, let's see. I: change diapers, have conversations, look at pictures, make playdough, wield a firm hand, comb hair, pat heads, change diapers, encourage potty use, encourage flushing the toilet encourage washing hands, cook food, serve food, discourage writing on the wall, discourage hitting, discourage tattletelling, admire play dough creations, help find monster trucks, check email, write blog posts, hide out in the bathroom, pick up clothes, watch lovely TV programs like:Miffy (did you know she went to Africa?), Truck Competition (monster truck jam), Curious George, Arthur, Sesame Street, shoo children out of the kitchen,shoo children off the windowsill, read the paper, check email, advision on 3 year old fashion choices....the list goes on.

So I'm real busy. LOL

I do love being at home and being secure in the fact that my children are being cared for by ME. This is not to say that I don't spend a portion of some days hiding out in the bathroom from a droopy-diapered stalker, HOWEVER, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Plus, if I were a working mom, how many hilarious stories would you be able to read?

Children are Irrational

This is just a short blurb because perhaps someone out there with more experience with children can help me answer this question. Princess E, my dear daughter of three years, is a "eat on the runner". That is, she'll sit down to breakfast, or lunch, eat a bit, excuse herself, run around, then expects to come back to the table with everything the same as she left it. She is highly disappointed when I have cleared the table or when someone else, namely her brothers, have eaten her food.

Today, as I was sitting in my office, she comes to me and demands to know where her bagel is. More specifically, she declares, "Somebody took my bagel!" I say, "Where was it?" "On the TABLE! SOMEBODY took it." Of course I know who took it, it was her bagel-stealing older brother, Mr. Mookie. But I don't tell her that - you think I want to start a war? Instead I say, in my most motherly voice, "Well, Princess E,, if you leave food on the table, then someone is going to eat it. If you want to eat it, you should eat it when you are sitting at the table."

What did she say? "Humph." And walked away. I think it would have made more difference if I'd said the bagel fairy took it.

Woman Stuck to Toilet Seat

I've heard of reading on the toilet, but this is just too much. Apparently this woman really loved her bathroom. I wish I liked my bathroom this much - in fact, a couple pillows in the tub might make it actually liveable for at least a couple of days....but I digress.

Yes, thie womean sat on the toilet for TWO YEARS. Her loving boyfriend bought her food and water and asked her to come out every day. But, just like Princess E says when I ask her when is she going to start wearing her new underwear, she said, "Maybe tomorrow". (Where did the boyfriend go to the bathroom - I'm talking solid waste here, while she was on the toilet? I doubt they had two bathrooms....)

And even more crazy she had her sweatpants "mid thigh", sitting on the toilet, skin grown around the toilet seat. Didn't she have a job? Am I asking too many questions?

Read the original story here: Woman Stuck to Toilet Seat

Apparently the boyfriend will be charged because he allowed her to sit there for so long.

Mr. Mookie out of Control

I realize that I really have to schedule myself in order to write on this blog on a regular basis. I've got a tremendous amount of topics, as you know the life of a stay at home mom is NEVER dull, but haven't had the time to actually sit down and write about them because of these non-ceasing exciting events.

As many of you may know, I also run a bath and body products business. Well, that's been taking off, but somehow, the children just haven't given me enough time to focus on it. Imagine that!

But let me get to the title of my post, as it is so easy for me to go off on a tangent, especially when I'm trying to write as well as oversee the building of a skyscraper in my living room.

The children were enjoying their TV time when I peeked in to see what they were watching. Hmm, Big bird is on, but the hour is not quite right. Basically, Sesame Street starts at the top of the hour, which means Elmo's World begins about twenty to the hour. Elmo was jumping around about twenty five after the hour,so something was up. Turns out, Mr. Mookie ordered a Sesame Street ON DEMAND. This is what he told me he did:

"I pressed 'on demand' (which is a big button on the remote.)....I scrolled (I kid you not) down to Kids (how the heck did he know the word kids)...then PBS then I chose Sesame Street."

Mr. M also knows how to turn the television to his other favorite channel, the Speed Channel.

He's five. FIVE!!! How is this little dude ordering Sprout on Demand????

Mr. Mookie is FIVE

Well, dear readers, the goddess has passed yet another test of moms all over. The birthday cupcakes. Last year, I passed the test of providing SNACKS so this year, while not a breeze, at least I knew what to expect.

Mr. C, is turning five on March 8th. Since he has all these little friends, or "his children" as he calls them, we decided to have a bit of a celebration at school. Of course, Mr. C, aka Mr. Mookie, can't just be provided with store or even bakery bought cupcakes - I mean, as a stay at home mom, how would that look? So, Betty Crocker to the rescue. Say hello to 18 yellow cake, chocolate frosted cupcakes with little sprinked on top. Thank goodness DH took them, along with Mr. Mookie to school - I could just see myself struggling with him, Princess E, and Mr. J, cupcakes, and goody bags. Talk about a diaster wating to happen. Glad I didn't have to risk it.

Of course, I waited eagerly at home for my report. "What did the children say?" (like they were the food critics from Iron Chef, right?" DH complied and said, "they said oooooooooooooooo when they say the cupcakes.?" And for some reason, that completely delighted me. Now I know just as well as the next person that preschoolers when preschoolers meet cupcakes of ANY caliber, there will be an "oooooooooooooooo" elicited. It feels good all the same. Plus, as an added bonus, after Mr. Mookie came home from school and after he talked about the whole little cupcake escapade, he asked, "Who made the cupcakes?" DH told him, "Mommy did." My little first born said, "They were so good. Thank you mommy!" And that was the best accolade of all.

So for all you moms out there who want to make a good impression on those preschoolers in your lives, look to Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines. Throw soem sprinkles on them from Party City and you've got it made!

I can't believe Mr. Mookie is five!!!

Vague Ramblings

Dear readers...I have absolutely nothing of consequence to write about today, however, my pledge is to keep up with this blog and to give you all something new to read every week. This week, the goddess welcomes the return of the stomach flu to her household. I simply cannot describe the happiness I felt when Mr. J showed me dinner again, in the middle of the kitchen floor. Yay, didn't know chicken and broccoli looked like THAT after being in contact with the bubbling hydrochloric acid contained within his stomach. And then he had the nerve to cry! He wasn't the one who had to clean up all that vomit.

Ok, Mr. J, put away, tucked in for the night, clean, no vomit smell. So, as a good goddess mama does, I went in to check on my little ones in the middle of the night. As I patted Mr. Mookie (The big C) on the back, he sat up, then got on all fours, coughed a bit, then.......(drum roll please) vomited, retched, then vomited again.

I admit, as I was patting his back (too late to try to run him to the toilet and I had to change the sheets anyway) I was laughing. Don't judge me, it was pretty funny. I mean, think of it like this, I was up at the plate and 0-2 (for it's one, two, three pukes you're out.....) (Of course, I didn't let Mr. Mookie see me laugh - he's very sensitive). So the goddess cleaned another round of stomach regurgitation. Ah, motherhood. Just waiting for Princess E to get the pukes and that's no laughing matter. At least the boys puke, rince their mouths and keep it moving. Princess E, on the other hand will vomit into her pillow, rub her hair in it (accidently of course) then cry, scream and carry on for the next 30 minutes. During the first occurance of the stomach flu, I left her in the capable hands of her father for if I heard her screaming one more time, I would rinsed her hair out in the toilet bowl. (Don't even blink, if you've got girls, you KNOW how it is!)

Times like these, makes me wanna go to rehab....how can I get an involuntary 72 hour hold like Britney Spears???

Movies

As you well may know, the goddess certainly loves movies. And I happened to view a really good one this very morning, on one of those thousands of encore channels. The Taking of Pelham 123. In fact, this movie is soooo good that they're remaking it next year with Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Which just goes to show that the folks in Hollywood have run out of ideas.....have all the good movies been made all ready?

Anyway, the basic plot is these group of men take over a subway car and hold it hostage. Now, if you're expecting a lot of special effects, splash, explosions and the like, don't bother because you won't get it. What you'll get is an excellently crafted film with standout performances. Watch for Robert Shaw, the lead bad guy - he's Quint from Jaws (made this movie right before Jaws). Excellent pacing, excellent plot, excellent performances.

And you'll also see where Quentin Tarantino gets his Mr. Green, Mr. Blue etc. from.

Be aware that this film is not politically correct, so if you're all sensitive about that, don't bother!

Goddess Sleeps on Grammys - Big Mistake!!

As I've often written here, as a woman of a certain age, the music today just doesn't grab me like the stuff of the 80s. Certainly, each generation has its own beats, and I'm sure that the music we listened to grated on the nerves of the flower children of the 70s. The one complaint that I have about today's music is its just about performance, not about the music. Basically performers (because I cannot call them musicians) find a good eight measures of music, four measures of chorus, then beat the tune to death by repeating it ad infinitum. Many past songs told a full story, intro, middle and end where as many of the songs today simply repeat themselves.

Because of this abhorrance to having my ears assaulted by the same 12 measures of music for 5-6 minutes, I did not mark my calendar to watch the Grammys this year. BIG MISTAKE. How could I have missed the reunion of the TIME? (granted, Rhianna ruined it with her 12 repeated measures) but was it not GREAT to see Morris preening himself in that mirror?

How about Tina? If I look half that good at what...76??? After that kind of life?

Alicia, Alicia, Alicia.....mind you, as a pianist, I do have the soft spot for other pianists, but honey, please. She sounded like she was singing along in the shower with her Frank Sinatra CD. One thing I could say about Natalie Cole (and she's a giantess, ain't she?) she was able to integrate pretty flawlessly with her father on the record.

Amy Winehouse - all I can say is, maybe try a bowl of cereal. She is grossly thin.

Check out YouTube if you missed it.

And I am telling you......

Ok, it's been yet another too long gap - keeping you, dear readers, hanging. Let's do a quick catch up on the goddess' life so that you can finally exhale.

First of all, I caught the last half or so of Dreamgirls (the movie). Now you know the goddess dotes on her three little ones and hardly takes the time out to sleep and almost never goes to the movies (why, it's coming on cable soon anyway!!). Pretty good movie. I especially liked Eddie Murphy - what a great part for him.

Yes, I saw Snakes on a Plane. Seems like the kind of movie that plays better in a movie theatre full of people screaming and shouting. Of course, we all know what the best line in the movie is...the rest of the movie is just ok.

Now, a real treat for you readers. a friend of mine sent this to me:



My favorite part is the subtitles translated into English, but I'm pretty impressed. The goddess appreciates any kind of good music!!!

For that matter, check this out - Enjoy!





Until later!

Clutter, Clutter and more Clutter

Dear readers, I really hate to tell you this, but the Goddess is a collector. Collector of books, collector of magazines, I am the queen of "I might need this someday."


Well, no more. The goddess has taken this day to don her stylish vinyl gloves and attack the so-called tool cabinet in the basement. Not only did she clear out the cabinet to the bones and create a semblance of order (a semblance, mind you, but some is better than none), she actually went through her precious books and began (gasp!) earmarking those for disposal.

All kidding aside, I did take the time to go down into my dusty basement and reconnoiter the situation. And as my friend Miss C says, all I say was A MESS. Stuff piled everywhere, dusty tools, dried up plumber's putty, you name it, it was downstairs looking me in the face. I got me a garbage bag and started throwing stuff away. Did you know that I had a pasta and cappucino maker??? I did know, but it was hard to tell exactly what they looked like under all that dust. Certainly, I was not throwing my precious wedding gifts away, but they did need to be wiped down!! My aim was to create a place for my breadmaker to sit, which has been chillin in my dining room since the turn of the century, but hey, can't have it all. At least there was some sort of order to the mess.

Now the books. I am a book lover, can't live w/out them, love them to death and HATE throwing them away. Borders loves me, Barnes and Noble loves me, amazon.com, half.com, alibris.com shuts down when I stop ordering. That being said, for me to give up books speaks volumes. So, let the volumes speak, for as you read this, there is a full box of books either waiting to be picked up by some lucky person, or headed to the recycling pile. I'm sick of them, sick of looking at them, and let's face it, I'm not going to save them till my crew gets older, first of all, that's about five years from now and by then they'll pick out their own books.

So, the goddess is feeling free and easy, tossing out stuff to make room for her ever expading shea butter business. What shea butter business, you ask? Well, you must be new - click the banner at the top of the page and you'll see.

Here's a great link to an article about clutter that I found in the NYTimes. Enjoy!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/01/health/01well.html?no_interstitial

Gotta Love Those Turtles

As you all know, the Goddess loves the Comcast Turtles - Mr. Slowsky is so wonderfully rude. "Oh, do you have Comcast because it's faster?" Enjoy!

I didn't want to but....

.....I just have to post this. Oh, I feel so bad, but I just couldn't resist. A friend of mine (Thanks Mrs. J) sent this to me. And I had to share it with all of you, dear readers.




Dude, just stick with "Jesus Loves Me"!

Growing up is harder on Parents!!

My oldest is losing a tooth. I want to smack him back a year. How dare you grow up on me? I still remember him getting the hiccups in the womb and me thinking, uh oh, I'm going into labor! This was of course in January and I wasn't due till March.

With all the growing up around here, however, my dear daughter, Princess E (after Princess P on Super why has decided that she still isn't ready to use the potty. Ok, I can deal, since she's got nine months till she is supposed to go to school. However, she will NOT be walking around in pull-ups when she is four. During the summer, if she has not decided to train, I am going to take away all the pullups and put her outside on the deck with her potty. She can either pee on her legs or use the pot. Yeah, drastic, I know, but she is just being lazy. I mean, if you can roll up on me saying, "I boo boo, change me" then honey, that potty's got your name on it!!

Let's not even talk about Mr. J. Seems like just yesterday he was chillin' in his bouncy seat, now he's snatching pretzels off the counter (with a stool cleverly built out of the top of the trash can, the box of ziploc bags and a broken stool - I kid you not). And talking - " come on Mr. J., it's time to get changed..." "No!" Next thing you know if you don't chase him down, you'll find a, ahem, used diaper in the corner and someone else running around half naked.

So, loose teeth notwithstanding, next September the big C starts KINDERGARTEN!!! Stop the madness, now real school begins. As if I didn't feel like an inadequate parent in 1/2 day preschool, now I have to be supermom in real school.

What are they going to teach him in kindergarten, besides how not to clobber your neighbor or try to pull him down by his legs? He knows his colors, he knows his letters (in and out of order). (A pox on you Word World and Super Why!!! Why did you teach my children better than I could? Even Mr. J at 20 months is running around saying the alphabet.) But I digress. The point is, while my son is certainly not gifted (although a smug part of me would like to think so - he is, after all a Yale legacy child.)I am fully aware that he is going to be way ahead of some of the children in his class. As a former teacher, I know this can be either good or bad. I don't want my child used as the class tutor. Certainly, this reinforces his learning as well as helping others, but I want him to excel! If he gets a good teacher, then he will be given the approriate advanced work.

(Yeah, I can hear you all now - Goddess! Shame on you! This is KINDERGARTEN, for goodness sake. C-Dude is merely a babe in the educational woods! Chill out, you type A evil stage mom!)

And you're right. (Biiiiig Goddess sigh.) I've got to tone it DOWN or I'm going to be that "stage mom" parent. But I do worry. Do I worry enough to homeschool? Hmmmmm, get back to me on that a little later. Meanwhile...hey, I'll just check that loose tooth 5x a day - there's nothing Type A about that......is there?

New Jersey to Apologize for Slavery - WHY???

Now I’ve read it all.

I ran upon this gem of an article when I was reading the paper yesterday. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,319549,00.html

“New Jersey considering an apology for slavery”.

Just for a moment, think about that headline.

What? With all that is going on in New Jersey politics, New Jersey schools, the price of gas, the insurance rates, the high taxes….this is what this representative from Essex County (the heart of political corruption, it seems) focuses on ? An apology for SLAVERY? How about apologizing for the lack of paid family leave? How about an apology for all the high taxes we in New Jersey have to pay. It just goes to show what is really important in our exalted legislature. And a rep from Essex County - the home of Newark, Jersey City and Orange, where the mayor was arrested for corruption – how about apologizing for that?

Although some may differ in opinion, slavery is a historical event, much like the Holocaust, where many people of a same race and/or religion were exterminated and/or eradicated culturally by moving them en masse from one country/continent to another. My comments here are not to lessen the impact of this historical event. (In fact, why don’t we demand an apology from the descendents of some of the African countries who sold these slaves in the first place? It wasn’t all about kidnapping, if you know your history!!)

This William Payne needs to get a life and look around in his own backyard:
“But Payne, an Essex Democrat, said an apology would comfort black residents and set an example for other states. "Slavery was an evil and shameful practice and New Jersey should profess remorse for its past involvement," he said.”

“Comfort black residents” COMFORT? Is New Jersey going to give me a great big motherly hug? No, thanks. Save your time and energy for something more productive that passing this stupid bill. So New Jersey apologizes….what difference would it make? Will it change the inherent racism that goes on even today? Will it change the incidence of black on black crime that takes place in low-income areas? Will it inspire the drug dealers who recruit little ones as young at 8 to stop their indoctrination? My guess is no….so what’s the point?